Thinking about you all out there who will find Christmas a reminder sometimes of lost family…
Coming up to Christmas I have become aware of the many reminders of ‘family’. The pressure to create a family event include having family round for dinner on christmas day, opening presents as many do at this time of the year etc…there is pressure in general to make christmas ‘an event’ for the family. Sometimes the very friends who promise us that they are family dont include us in their lives or for whatever reason are unable to have us as part of this family celebration.
A reminder to our birth families….its not easy dealing with these events..a bit like birthdays…you can have a great sense of loss..an emptiness, numbness and confusion related to being misplaced ..emotional and psychological misplacement. For me I have noticed that I dream about members of my family,sometimes in situations where they are rejecting me again, or including me but not really…heads turned away or left behind and at times confusing situations of their loyalty.
You cannot help feeling this way..for many it is totally out of their control ..and remains of this continue sometimes for the rest of your life…why? because our earliest memories of security and belonging ( in whatever kind of family) are brought to the forefront.
Everone will have their say on how they see this…how they manage this, or even how we should look at this situation for ourselves….my plea dont forget the damage done and have an ear of empthy before you say..’you dont need them’..and what that can mean for an individual.
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